The Ridiculous Wishes

In days long past there lived a poor woodcutter who found life very hard. Indeed, he had to work hard for very little payit was his lot to toil for little guerdon, and although he was young and happily married there were moments when he wished himself dead and below ground.

One day while at his work he was again lamenting his fate.

"Some men," he said, "have only to make known their desires, and at once they get everything they wish for. But wishing has done me no good, for the gods are deaf to the prayers of people like meand straightway these are granted, and their every wish fulfilled; but it has availed me little to wish for ought, for the gods are deaf to the prayers of such as I."

As he spoke these words there was a great noise of thunder, and Jupiter appeared before him wielding his mighty thunderbolts. Our poor man was terrifiedwas stricken with fear and threw himself on the ground.

"My lord," he said, "forget my foolish speech; pay no attention to my wishes, but stop your thunderheed not my wishes, but cease thy thundering!"

"Have no fear," answered Jupiter; "I have heard your complaint and have come here to show you how unfair you are to me. Listen!I have heard thy plaint, and have come hither to show thee how greatly thou dost wrong me. Hark! I, who am sovereign lord of this world, promise to grant in full the first three wishes you choose to speak aloudwhich it will please thee to utter, whatever these may be. Think carefully about what can bring you joy and prosperity. Your happiness is at stake, so do not rush: give it some thought.Consider well what things can bring thee joy and prosperity, and as thy happiness is at stake, be not over-hasty, but revolve the matter in thy mind."

With these words, Jupiter left and went back up to Olympus.Having thus spoken Jupiter withdrew himself and made his ascent to Olympus. As for our woodcutter, he happily tied up his bundle of firewoodhe blithely corded his faggot, and throwing it over his shoulder, made for his home. To one so light of heart the load also seemed light, and his thoughts were merry as he strode along. Many a wish came into his mind, but he was resolved to seek the advice of his wife, who was a sensible young womana young woman of good understanding.

He had soon reached his cottage, and threw down his bundle of firewood and said:casting down his faggot:

"Here I am, FannyBehold me, Fanny," he said. "Make up the fire and set the table, and don't hold anything backspread the board, and let there be no stint. We are wealthy, Fanny, wealthy for evermore; we have only to wish for anything we wantwhatsoever we may desire."

Then he told her what had happened that day.Thereupon he told her the story of what had befallen that day. Fanny, whose mind was quick and active, at once thought of many ways to make them richer. But she agreed with her husband's decision to act carefullyimmediately conceived many plans for the advancement of their fortune, but she approved her husband's resolve to act with prudence and circumspection.

"It would be a pity'Twere a pity," she said, "to spoil our chances through impatience. We had better sleep on it and make no wishes until tomorrow.We had best take counsel of the night, and wish no wishes until to-morrow."

"Well saidThat is well spoken," answered Harry. "Meanwhile fetch a bottle of our best, and we shall drink to our good fortune."

Fanny brought a bottle from the store behind the bundles of firewoodbehind the faggots, and our man sat comfortablyour man enjoyed his ease, leaning back in his chair with his toes to the fire and his goblet in his hand.

"What fine glowing embers!" he said, "and what a fine toasting fire! I wish we had a black pudding at hand."

Hardly had he spoken these words when his wife sawhis wife beheld, to her great astonishment, a long black pudding which came winding and wriggling towards her from a corner of the hearthwhich, issuing from a corner of the hearth, came winding and wriggling towards her. She uttered a cry of fear, and then again exclaimed in dismay, when she realised that this strange event came from her husband's rash, foolish wishwhen she perceived that this strange occurrence was due to the wish which her husband had so rashly and foolishly spoken. Turning upon him, in her anger and disappointment she called the poor man all the abusive names that she could think of.

"What!" she said to him, "when you can call for a kingdom, for gold, pearls, rubies, diamonds, for a prince's clothes and endless richesfor princely garments and wealth untold, is this the time to set your mind upon black puddings!"

"Oh no!Nay!" answered the man, "I spoke without thinking, and it was a bad mistake. But I shall be careful now'twas a thoughtless speech, and a sad mistake; but I shall now be on my guard, and shall do better next time."

"How do we know you will?Who knows that you will?" returned his wife. "Once a witless fool, always a witless fool!" She let her anger loose and kept scolding her husband until he too grew angry. He almost used his second wish to make himself a widower.and giving free rein to her vexation and ill-temper she continued to upbraid her husband until his anger also was stirred, and he had wellnigh made a second bid and wished himself a widower.

"Enough! woman," he cried at last; "control that stubborn tongue of yoursput a check upon thy froward tongue! Who ever heard such impertinence as this! A curse on this quarrelsome woman and her pudding! I wish it hung from the end of her nose!A plague on the shrew and on her pudding! Would to heaven it hung at the end of her nose!"

No sooner had the husband given voice to these words than the wish was granted at oncestraightway granted, and the long coil of black pudding appeared grafted to the angry woman's nosethe angry dame's nose.

Our man paused when he saw what he had donewhen he beheld what he had wrought. Fanny was a pretty young woman, blessed with good looks. To tell the truth, this new ornament did nothing for her beauty.Fanny was a comely young woman, and blest with good looks, and truth to tell, this new ornament did not set off her beauty. Yet it offered one advantage, that as it hung right before her mouth, it would keep her from talking so muchit would thus effectively curb her speech.

With only one wish left, he had almost decided to use it at once to get himself a kingdom, before anything else went wrong.So, having now but one wish left, he had all but resolved to make good use of it without further delay, and, before any other mischance could befall, to wish himself a kingdom of his own. He was about to speak the word, when a sudden thought stopped himhe was stayed by a sudden thought.

"It is true," he said to himself, "that no one is as great as a King. But what about the Queen who must share his royal position? How elegant would she look sittingthere is none so great as a King, but what of the Queen that must share his dignity? With what grace would she sit beside me on the throne with a yard of black pudding for a nose?"

Unable to decide, he chose to explain the choice to FannyIn this dilemma he resolved to put the case to Fanny, and to leave her to decide whether she would rather be a Queen, with this horrible thing spoiling her good lookswith this most horrible appendage marring her good looks, or remain a peasant wife, but with this unfortunate addition removed from her shapely nosewith her shapely nose relieved of this untoward addition.

Fanny's mind was soon made up: although she had dreamt of a crown and sceptre, yet a woman's first wish is always to please. Everything else must give way to this great desire, and Fanny would rather look pretty in coarse clothTo this great desire all else must yield, and Fanny would rather be fair in drugget than be a Queen with an ugly face.

Thus our woodcutter did not change his place in life, did not become a rulerdid not change his state, did not become a potentate, nor fill his purse with golden crowns. He was thankful enough to use his remaining wish to a more humble purpose, and at once freed his wife from the pudding on her noseforthwith relieved his wife of her encumbrance.

The Moral

Ah! so it is that miserable man, By nature fickle, blind, unwise, and rash, Often fails to reap a harvest from great gifts Given to him by the heavenly gods.Oft fails to reap a harvest from great gifts Bestowed upon him by the heav'nly gods.

Donkey-skin